Sir Mathy scribbled for hours and hours on his desk. Lady Fizz Higgs, who was passing by his office, noticed he was in distress.
― Hey, Matt, you seem more troubled than the usual. What's up.
― It's this cake for the king and queens ― he said, pointing at the round table in the office ― I must cut it in two equal parts with one straight cut, but first I must do all the calculations. So far, I've written a demonstration that the cake cut will require a knife of finite length, and that the length has an unique solution that has a lower bound of 2.
― So you have to find out how to cut it in half?
― Yes.
― In two equal parts?
― Yes.
― Well, you just have to cut it through
its center of mass
― What? It can't be as simple as that. I need perfect mathematical proof!
― Stop overthinking things, you silly! As you sure know,
any line that passes through the center of mass of an (planar) area divides that area into two halves of equal mass,
and since I guess we're dealing with a cake of uniform density, that will make things easy.
― Okay, but in that case I should start calculating the double integral of the cake surface.
― Oh, Mat, you have to stop thinking of everything as a field on a R-squared infinite plane, and start thinking of stuff as spherical points of negligible electrical charge in a perfect vacuum with no friction. You see, the cake is not a cake, it's
a collection of three points with mass: one for the square and two for the semicircles
― What a preposterous oversimplification! The cake must be continuous, derivable, and non-porous!
― You're overcomplicating things again. We just have to rotate the cake 45 degrees...
― Pi fourths!
― Okay, pi fourths so that corner A is at the [0,0] coordinate, B at [0,2], C at [2,2] and D at [2,0]
Mathy's face turned red for a second.
― That's minus pi fourths! ― he complained, loudly
― Fiiiiiine ― she let out with a sigh ― that's rotating it minus pi fourths. But you're gonna like the next part, because we're calculating
the center of mass as the weighted average of the three centers of mass, averaged by their mass. The square is trivial, and I can look up the centroid and area of a semicircle in my books, so: $$c_{square} = [1,1]$$ $$m_{square} = 4$$ $$c_{bc} = [1, 2 + \frac{4}{3\pi}]$$ $$c_{cd} = [2 + \frac{4}{3\pi}, 1]$$ $$m_{bc} = m_{cd} = \frac{\pi}{2}$$
― I don't like where this is going, Fizz. You're taking shortcuts instead of letting me calculate those nice and beautiful double integrals.
― Because that's just wasting time. Now we can
calculate the weighted average of the vectors for the centers of mass: $$c_{cake} = \frac{c_{square} \times m_{square} + c_{bc}\times m_{bc} + c_{cd} \times m_{cd}}{m_{square}+m_{bc}+m_{cd}}$$ $$c_{cake} = \frac{4\times \left[1,1\right] + \frac{\pi}{2} \times \left[1, 2 + \frac{4}{3\pi}\right]+ \frac{\pi}{2} \times \left[2 + \frac{4}{3\pi}, 1\right]}{4 + \frac{\pi}{2} + \frac{\pi}{2}}$$ $$c_{cake} = \frac{\left[4,4\right] + \left[\frac{\pi}{2}, \frac{\pi}{2}\left(2 + \frac{4}{3\pi}\right)\right] + \left[\frac{\pi}{2}\left(2 + \frac{4}{3\pi}\right), \frac{\pi}{2}\right]}{4 + \pi}$$ $$c_{cake} = \frac{\left[4 + \frac{\pi}{2} + \frac{\pi}{2}\left(2 + \frac{4}{3\pi}\right), 4 + \frac{\pi}{2} + \frac{\pi}{2}\left(2 + \frac{4}{3\pi}\right)\right]}{4 + \pi}$$ $$c_{cake} = \left[\frac{4 + \frac{\pi}{2} + \frac{\pi}{2}\left(2 + \frac{4}{3\pi}\right)}{4 + \pi},\frac{4 + \frac{\pi}{2} + \frac{\pi}{2}\left(2 + \frac{4}{3\pi}\right)}{4 + \pi}\right]$$ $$c_{cake} ≃ [1.3133, 1.3133]$$
― What? Four decimal digits in your solution??!! The king will have my head for such an imprecision!
― You have to relax, Matt. You've been so focused in your theorems that you haven't realized you haven't got a cake here, you have a grainy pixelated picture of a cake. I mean, when you look at it closely, points A and C don't even align vertically, and one unit is like 102.5 pixels long. We don't need precision.
― Nonsense! If we're using a numerical solution, I'll better use a value of
1.3133002821628142080298404581712377945997291477458964137553166227
instead.
― Wait. How many digits of pi did you use for that?
― Not enough.
Grabbing a nearby pencil, Fizz continued:
― Anyway. We have a grainy picture, so that would be over... here...
And leaning on the picture of the cake, Fizz drew:

Mathy sighed.
― Fiine, fiiiiiiiine. But that doesn't solve the problem. We haven't even talked about the flowers, and that will require me at least another 7 hours of calculations.
― For the King's sake, it's fourteen flowers on a heart, not a density function of infinite flowers on a fractal shape. We can brute-force the problem!!
And, suddenly, Fizz drew a straight line through the picture of the cake:

Mathy's left eyebrow started twitching uncontrollably.
― W-What? You can't just-
― And look, there's even a second obvious solution!

Seconds after Fizz drew that second line, Mathy collapsed on the floor and had to be rushed to the hospital.
When he woke up the day after, there was a letter on the nightstand next to him: it was from the King and Queens. They were congratulating Sir Mathy on finding a solution to their satisfaction.
And with that, Mathy and Fizz kept having academic squabbles forever after.