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(1) How should the game end with best play on both sides?

(2) Use the clue to complete the bad pun!

enter image description here

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1 Answer 1

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Looks like after

1. Qb8+ KF7
2. e6+ dxe6
3. dxe6+

the black king has only bad options:

3. - Kxe6 allows white to take the queen with check.
3. - Kf6 blocks the square the black knight needs to retake the queen after white takes at g8

and finally, after

3. - Kg6
4. Qxg8 Nf6+
5. Kh4 Nxg8
6. Bd3+ Kf6
7. Bh7!

we have reached this position:

enter image description here

All the escape squares of the black knight are blocked, so it will fall, which brings us to..

After being rendered physically unable to move, the Black Knight said "Alright, we'll call it a draw".

This assessment seems accurate, since the white bishop can sacrifice itself to stop black's e-pawn if necessary, after which black is left with a pawn on the edge of the board, which cannot promote on its own. Also, black's bishop is on the wrong coloured squares, so it cannot reach h1, and is therefore unable to help.

As for the title, this seems most relevant.

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    $\begingroup$ Are you kidding? It’s rot13(whfg n zvabe syrfu jbhaq)! $\endgroup$
    – El-Guest
    Sep 3, 2020 at 11:40

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