I'm a communications engineer with the Royal Navy - it's a great job, and usually I love it. But there is this one guy who absolutely grinds my gears. I call him 'Captain Clumsy' (not to his face, obviously) and he is personally responsible for 90% of my most ludicrous callouts. You should hear what he did this week...
On Monday, he radioed me at base to say he'd spilled his coffee on the (very sophisticated and expensive) transmitter, but he thought it would probably be alright. I could tell from the sound quality that he'd properly wrecked it, so I went out and replaced it for him.
On Tuesday, I got another call - this time he'd dropped a teaspoon inside the radio casing (How?!) and it was shorting some of its circuits. Again, I made the trip out to his ship (which I've christened 'HMS Butterfingers') and replaced the radio again.
On Wednesday, he accidentally set his radio on fire with a lit cigarette - ("But you can fix that, right?" "No!") - I had to replace it again.
On Thursday, he smashed up the radio with a cricket ball during a muckabout with his officers. I replaced it AGAIN.
On Friday - for some utterly ridiculous reason that I cannot begin to comprehend - he decided to take the latest replacement radio apart to see how it worked... only to find he couldn't put it back together again.
This was the last straw. After some choice words, I took the radio home with me and sat up in the workshop all night. By morning I had developed the "Clumsy-Proof Radio" - an industrially toughened outer casing; ultra-fine vent filters to prevent invasion by foreign objects; flameproof; waterproof; pretty-much-idiotproof; and with absolutely no way that imbecile of a captain could ruin another piece of equipment. On Saturday I left it right outside Captain Clumsy's office with a note explaining that this new radio was a one-of-a-kind work of art, that he should treat it with the utmost care, and that he should only radio me again if anything happened to it. I was confident that nothing could happen to this now almost-indestructible piece of kit, and that it would buy me a long well-deserved respite from that catastrophic captain...
...so it was with utter despair that I returned to my screen to find a computer visualisation of a radio message that looked like this:
There was no doubt in my mind who it was from - but how?! What?! What had Captain Clumsy done this time that my brand new everything-proof pride-and-joy radio had managed to transmit an output like this?! This was not what its output was supposed to look like. I pored over the 'message' for the best part of an hour until finally I had it deciphered. Then I groaned loudly, put my head in my hands, and cried until I fell asleep, still in my chair...
What had Captain Clumsy done this time?! What message has been transmitted?
Notes - ##TO BE READ##:
NB The puzzle is entirely contained within the image; the text beforehand is purely for flavour, and just provides a little context for the final answer - don't waste your time attempting to analyse its wording!
For ease of solving I provide the data in a (colourblind-friendly) CSV format below - colours as follows: Bk = Black; Bu = Blue; DG = Dark Grey; Gn = Green; I = Indigo; LG = Light Grey; O = Orange; R = Red; V = Violet; W = White; Y = Yellow. For those proficient in Excel or another spreadsheet program, it would be a relatively straightforward task (taking just a few minutes) to copy it into a spreadsheet and apply conditional formatting to reproduce the colours shown in the original picture - I would advise you to do that instead of trying to replicate the image by hand yourself, so as to avoid transcription errors (and a mind-numbingly laborious, un-fun waste of your time).
W,W,W,Bk,Bk,Bk,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,R,LG,R,LG,O,LG,Gn,LG,Gn,LG,Gn,LG,Y,LG,Y,LG,I,LG,Gn,LG,O,LG,R,LG,O,LG,O,LG,O,LG,O,LG,O,LG,O,LG
Bk,Bk,Bk,Bk,W,Bk,LG,Bk,Bk,Bk,Bk,Bk,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,R,LG,R,LG,LG,LG,Gn,LG,Gn,LG,Gn,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,R,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG
W,Bk,W,Bk,Bk,Bk,LG,LG,Bk,Bk,Bk,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,Gn,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,Bk,LG,O,LG,Y,LG,O,LG,Bk,LG,O,LG,O,LG,O,LG,Bk,LG,Bk,LG,I,LG,Gn,LG
W,W,W,W,W,W,LG,LG,LG,Bk,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,I,LG,I,LG,LG,R,O,LG,O,LG,O,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,Y,LG,LG,O,Bk,LG,LG,LG,LG,O,LG,O,LG,LG,LG,LG,I,LG,LG,LG
LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,W,W,W,W,Bk,Bk,W,W,Bk,Bk,W,W,LG,LG,LG,LG,O,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,O,LG,Gn,LG,LG,LG,O,LG,LG,LG,R,LG,Gn,LG,O,LG,R,LG,O,LG,LG,LG,Bk,LG
LG,Bk,LG,LG,LG,LG,W,W,W,W,Bk,Bk,W,W,Bk,Bk,W,W,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,O,LG,LG,I,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,I,O,LG,LG,R,O,LG,LG,Gn,LG,O,LG,Bk,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,R
LG,Bk,Bk,LG,LG,LG,W,W,W,W,Bk,Bk,W,W,Bk,Bk,W,W,LG,LG,LG,LG,Bu,LG,LG,LG,LG,Gn,LG,LG,LG,LG,O,LG,LG,I,I,LG,LG,O,O,LG,LG,LG,O,LG,O,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,Gn,LG
LG,Bk,Bk,Bk,LG,LG,W,W,W,W,Bk,Bk,W,W,Bk,Bk,W,W,LG,LG,LG,Gn,LG,R,LG,LG,LG,Gn,LG,LG,LG,Y,LG,Bu,LG,LG,LG,O,LG,LG,LG,O,LG,R,LG,O,LG,O,LG,O,LG,LG,LG,Y
LG,Bk,Bk,LG,LG,LG,W,W,Bk,Bk,Bk,Bk,Bk,Bk,W,W,W,W,LG,R,LG,Gn,O,LG,LG,Gn,LG,LG,LG,Gn,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,Y,LG,LG,LG,Bk,Gn,LG,LG,LG,O,LG,R,LG,LG,LG,LG,Bk,LG,LG
LG,Bk,LG,LG,LG,LG,W,W,Bk,Bk,Bk,Bk,Bk,Bk,W,W,W,W,LG,R,LG,LG,LG,Gn,LG,Gn,LG,O,LG,Gn,LG,Bk,LG,Gn,LG,Y,LG,Gn,LG,Bk,LG,O,LG,O,LG,O,LG,Bk,LG,Bk,LG,LG,LG,Bk
LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,W,W,Bk,Bk,Bk,Bk,Bk,Bk,W,W,W,W,LG,LG,LG,R,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,I,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,I,LG,LG
LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,W,W,Bk,Bk,Bk,Bk,Bk,Bk,W,W,W,W,LG,I,LG,R,LG,R,LG,O,LG,I,LG,O,LG,O,LG,O,LG,O,LG,I,LG,O,LG,I,LG,R,LG,O,LG,Gn,LG,Gn,LG,I,LG,O
R,R,LG,Y,LG,Gn,LG,I,LG,Y,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,W,W,W,W,W,W,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG
LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,O,LG,I,LG,Gn,LG,O,LG,V,LG,O,LG,R,LG,LG,LG,LG,R,LG,LG,LG,R,Y,LG,LG,LG,R,R,LG,W,W,W,W,W,W,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG
R,LG,I,LG,Bu,LG,O,LG,R,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,R,R,LG,LG,LG,O,LG,LG,LG,Y,LG,LG,LG,LG,O,O,LG,W,W,W,W,W,W,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG
LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,R,LG,I,LG,Bu,LG,O,LG,R,LG,R,R,R,LG,LG,Y,LG,LG,LG,Y,R,LG,LG,LG,Y,Y,LG,W,W,W,W,W,W,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG
O,LG,I,LG,Gn,LG,O,LG,V,LG,O,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,R,O,LG,LG,LG,Gn,LG,LG,LG,Y,R,R,LG,LG,Gn,Gn,LG,Bk,Bk,Bk,Bk,Bk,Bk,DG,DG,DG,DG,DG,DG,DG,DG,DG,DG,DG,DG
LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,R,R,LG,Y,LG,Gn,LG,I,LG,Y,LG,O,LG,LG,LG,LG,Bu,LG,LG,LG,Y,R,R,R,LG,Bu,Bu,LG,Bk,Bk,Bk,Bk,Bk,Bk,DG,DG,DG,Bk,DG,DG,DG,DG,Bk,DG,DG,DG
V,V,LG,O,LG,R,R,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,O,R,LG,LG,LG,I,LG,LG,LG,Y,R,O,LG,LG,I,I,LG,Bk,Bk,Bk,Bk,Bk,Bk,DG,DG,DG,Bk,Bk,DG,DG,DG,Bk,DG,DG,DG
LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,Bu,LG,R,R,LG,O,LG,R,R,LG,O,R,R,LG,LG,V,LG,LG,LG,Y,O,LG,LG,LG,V,V,LG,Bk,Bk,Bk,Bk,Bk,Bk,DG,DG,DG,Bk,DG,Bk,DG,DG,Bk,DG,DG,DG
Gn,LG,R,R,LG,I,LG,Y,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,O,R,R,R,LG,Bk,LG,LG,LG,Y,O,R,LG,LG,Bk,Bk,LG,Bk,Bk,Bk,Bk,Bk,Bk,DG,DG,DG,Bk,DG,DG,Bk,DG,Bk,DG,DG,DG
LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,Gn,LG,I,LG,R,R,LG,Y,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,Bk,Bk,Bk,Bk,Bk,Bk,DG,DG,DG,Bk,DG,DG,DG,Bk,Bk,DG,DG,DG
Bu,LG,I,LG,Y,LG,O,LG,R,R,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,DG,DG,DG,DG,DG,DG,DG,DG,R,DG,DG,DG,DG,LG,LG,LG,Bk,Bk,Bk,Bk,Bk,Bk,DG,DG,DG,Bk,DG,DG,DG,DG,Bk,DG,DG,DG
LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,Gn,Gn,LG,Y,LG,O,LG,R,R,LG,LG,DG,DG,DG,DG,DG,DG,DG,DG,O,DG,Y,DG,DG,LG,LG,LG,Bk,Bk,Bk,Bk,Bk,Bk,DG,DG,DG,DG,DG,DG,DG,DG,DG,DG,DG,DG
Y,LG,I,LG,O,LG,I,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,Bu,Bu,Bu,Y,Y,Y,R,R,R,Bu,Bu,Bu,Bu,Bu,Bu,Bu,Bu,Bu,Y,Y,Y,R,R,R,V,V,V,Y,Y,Y,I,I,I,Gn,Gn,Gn
LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,Y,LG,I,LG,Gn,LG,I,Bu,Bu,Bu,Y,Y,Y,R,R,R,Bu,Bu,Bu,Bu,Bu,Bu,Bu,Bu,Bu,Y,Y,Y,R,R,R,V,V,V,Y,Y,Y,I,I,I,Gn,Gn,Gn
Y,LG,O,LG,O,LG,Bk,LG,O,LG,I,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,Bu,Bu,Bu,Y,Y,Y,R,R,R,Bu,Bu,Bu,Bu,Bu,Bu,Bu,Bu,Bu,Y,Y,Y,R,R,R,V,V,V,Y,Y,Y,I,I,I,Gn,Gn,Gn
LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,Y,LG,O,LG,O,LG,Bk,LG,O,LG,I,R,R,R,Y,Y,Y,R,R,R,Bu,Bu,Bu,R,R,R,Bu,Bu,Bu,O,O,O,R,R,R,I,I,I,I,I,I,R,R,R,Bu,Bu,Bu
Y,LG,I,LG,Gn,LG,I,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,R,R,R,Y,Y,Y,R,R,R,Bu,Bu,Bu,R,R,R,Bu,Bu,Bu,O,O,O,R,R,R,I,I,I,I,I,I,R,R,R,Bu,Bu,Bu
LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,Y,LG,I,LG,O,LG,I,R,R,R,Y,Y,Y,R,R,R,Bu,Bu,Bu,R,R,R,Bu,Bu,Bu,O,O,O,R,R,R,I,I,I,I,I,I,R,R,R,Bu,Bu,Bu
I,LG,O,LG,Gn,Gn,LG,Gn,LG,O,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,R,R,R,Bu,Bu,Bu,Bu,Bu,Bu,R,R,R,Bu,Bu,Bu,Y,Y,Y,V,V,V,O,O,O,Gn,Gn,Gn,Y,Y,Y,R,R,R,O,O,O
LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,Bu,LG,O,LG,Bu,Bu,LG,O,LG,R,LG,Gn,R,R,R,Bu,Bu,Bu,Bu,Bu,Bu,R,R,R,Bu,Bu,Bu,Y,Y,Y,V,V,V,O,O,O,Gn,Gn,Gn,Y,Y,Y,R,R,R,O,O,O
Gn,LG,I,LG,O,LG,Gn,LG,Bk,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,R,R,R,Bu,Bu,Bu,Bu,Bu,Bu,R,R,R,Bu,Bu,Bu,Y,Y,Y,V,V,V,O,O,O,Gn,Gn,Gn,Y,Y,Y,R,R,R,O,O,O
LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,Gn,LG,I,LG,O,LG,Gn,LG,Bk,R,R,R,Bu,Bu,Bu,Bu,Bu,Bu,Bu,Bu,Bu,Bu,Bu,Bu,R,R,R,Y,Y,Y,V,V,V,Y,Y,Y,Y,Y,Y,O,O,O,Bu,Bu,Bu
Bu,LG,O,LG,Bu,Bu,LG,O,LG,R,LG,Gn,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,R,R,R,Bu,Bu,Bu,Bu,Bu,Bu,Bu,Bu,Bu,Bu,Bu,Bu,R,R,R,Y,Y,Y,V,V,V,Y,Y,Y,Y,Y,Y,O,O,O,Bu,Bu,Bu
LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,LG,I,LG,O,LG,Gn,Gn,LG,Gn,LG,O,R,R,R,Bu,Bu,Bu,Bu,Bu,Bu,Bu,Bu,Bu,Bu,Bu,Bu,R,R,R,Y,Y,Y,V,V,V,Y,Y,Y,Y,Y,Y,O,O,O,Bu,Bu,Bu
