new answer
Pickling and especially a jar of pickles
The transformations happen to
a cucumber or other pickled item.
The sea creatures
perhaps to make you think of salt, or pickled herring. Or sea cucumbers, which are a creature despite the name.
The second stanza refers to
eggs, as mentioned in the old answer
The "find you and cut you"
refers to eating pickles
while "change to the core" is
the pickling process and fermentation
And a fun guy
Refers to fungi, pickled mushrooms
The abhorrent and ghastly I got nothing, but struggle to open is
getting the lid off a jar at first
The second-last stanza is about
eating pickles that have been preserved for the purpose
And the final stanza
to using up the jar over a long period of time and then pouring away the remaining juice.
Hint 1
Many pickles need a while - my own pickled beans I wait 6 weeks to open. Also, in more of a confirmation than a hint, the "moment of inertia" could be relevant when turning the lid to open the jar
Hint 2
No idea, perhaps there's a popular US brand name in there
Hint 3
the word "jar" is the key here
old answer
I believe it's a
refrigerator
It contains things, including sea creatures I suppose. The list of transformations described: "shrivel, protect, infuse, and deform" I've seen.
And of course a fridge has a light inside
The second stanza I believe refers to
eggs, which are kept in the fridge
I believe the third and fourth stanzas refers to
The safety precautions for discarded fridges so that children don't hide in them and suffocate
The fifth stanza refers to
Keeping food (for feasts, that you eat with forks) in a fridge
and finally
They do get empty, and even get replaced. Any liquid that accumulates in the bottom gets dumped
I can't actually connect the hints to this though.
Kate got almost everything anyway, but here are the full answers from OP:
You are gonna need some coffee to crack this little nugget of a riddle!
This is a programming reference. Java is used to open files of type .jar (which stands from Java ARchive), which are sort of like nuggets containing a bunch of things.
A prison of sorts, with light but no breeze,
These passive sea creatures contain I with ease.
Their very own home is used to transform,
To shrivel, protect, infuse, and deform.
A jar is transparent, but air-tight. One of the most commonly pickled things are cucumbers, which are also one of the most numerous sea animals in the world. Their home - salt water - is what's typically used to pickle things.
Imprisoning children is even more foul,
Plucked from their mothers they can't even howl.
Scalded on purpose, they lie in a sack,
To be beaten, abused, till they finally crack.
The entire stanza is about pickled eggs. There are some punny hints here like "foul vs fowl" and "plucked". Eggs are children, they get boiled (scalded), and then lie around in their shell waiting for us to crack them and clean the shell off.
If you think you are fun, then you guys better hide,
They'll find you, cut you, and lock you inside.
You'll change to the core while you languish within,
But granting you freedom is a much greater sin.
Mushrooms are also commonly sealed in jars, the play on words here is "fun guy vs fungi". Mushrooms hide in the forest, and people go looking for them, cut them, and put them in jars. Pickling changes the mushrooms just like everything else.
For once they release the inmates I hold,
Abhorrent and ghastly events will unfold.
They'll struggle to open my rusty old door,
I'll try to protect you, that's what I'm for.
Once the jar is open, the contents get eaten. Opening jars is notoriously hard, which actually ties into the second hint. And the point of the jar is to preserve and protect the contents.
But none can withstand these insatiable beasts,
They've kept you alive for their terrible feasts.
They'll prod you with pitchforks until you comply,
Too tired to struggle, you're ready to die.
We are hungry and we want some pickles! Which we'll fish out of the jar with a fork. If often takes a few tries, too, you keep stabbing the slippery bastard and he keeps rolling out of the way.
One at a time, sometimes all at once,
Sometimes it takes days, sometimes even months.
But sooner or later I'll be empty again,
Even your tears they'll dump in the drain.
Finishing off a jar can take anywhere from a single sitting to months, but eventually it's empty except for the brine left behind. Which is salty like tears, and is shed by the pickle as you remove it from the jar.
Hint 1:
Moment means not only a small chunk of time, but also a force used to create rotational movement. When we open jars, we apply certain moment to the lid, which won't budge until the moment is high enough.
Hint 2:
How many of you have heard "Honey! Can you open this jar?"?
Hint 3:
Of course the give-away here is "jarringly".
