I think I have a working strategy.

Step 1:

Play as X.

Step 2:

Before your first turn, ask this: "If my opponent wins, will it be along a horizontal line?"

Step 3:

Regardless of the answer, play in the centre.

Step 4:

After the opponent's first move, play in a corner. This leaves 4 possible board states (removing reflections and rotations). Lines where the O player can win are marked in red.

Now note that regardless of which possibility is true, the O player has only two lines they can win on. Additionally, one of these has become unplayable due to the question. Regardless of what O plays here, X always has a move which blocks O's final possible win line.

Edit: Incorrect answer. I achieve 'never lose' but not 'win when possible'.

I think I have a working strategy.

Step 1:

Play as X.

Step 2:

Before your first turn, ask this: "If my opponent wins, will it be along a horizontal line?"

Step 3:

Regardless of the answer, play in the centre.

Step 4:

After the opponent's first move, play in a corner. This leaves 4 possible board states (removing reflections and rotations). Lines where the O player can win are marked in red.

Now note that regardless of which possibility is true, the O player has only two lines they can win on. Additionally, one of these has become unplayable due to the question. Regardless of what O plays here, X always has a move which blocks O's final possible win line.